Julia, a remote, and a doggie walk into a bar...

A typical evening in our household...

"Oh doggie, I know you love this remote because it has your teeth marks on it. Where aaaare you?"

"Ah hah! There you are. Would you like this yellow plastic knife?"
"Maybe she has something good for once..."

"No? Not tempting enough for you?"
"Make her go away."

"Alrighty then, what do you think of...."
"Make her go away. This is my cushion."

"Oh what's this? A remote? Would you be interested?"
"Um yes quite possibly."

"Just kidding! How about ME?"
"......"

"Hmmm."

"Secret evil plan in progress..."

"Oh doggie - look! A remote! And I'm sitting so very far away from it."

"Yeaaaaah that's what I'm talking about."

"And ME! I COME WITH IT! HOORAY!"

"I GOT YOU! DOGGIE!"
"Oh crap."

"DOGGIE DOGGIE DOGGIE!"
"!!!"