Monday, December 20, 2010

SAHM transition

So I used to be a lawyer - worked hard, played hard, and wore ridiculously expensive high heels and dry-clean-only outfits to work.  Then I traded that in for jeans and a laid-back 40-hours-a-week-maybe lab job.  Then I rolled into the 24/7 spit-up-on-sweats job of a stay at home mom.  All in less than two years and I'm pretty sure I'm having a little bit of trouble adjusting.

Part of it is this particular week.  We're driving to Plano for Christmas with the dog and the baby, then R is driving back a few days later with the dog, and Lia and I are flying back a week after that.  So I'm packing for a road trip with a dog and both a road trip and a flight with a baby.  Not that huge of a deal, except I've never done it before.  What am I going to forget and am I going to be able to fit it all in two suitcases?  Add in Christmas shopping, wrapping gifts, and keeping up with the house and I'm stressing.  Add in all the nursing and pumping I'm doing to stockpile several days' worth of breastmilk for our trip in late January, and I'm exhausted with only an hour here and there to actually get any work done.

I'm also struggling to adjust to being this boring and stupid.  I used to take pride in the fact that I could speak intelligently about current events and my particular areas of job-related "expertise."  Now, I found out that DADT was repealed from SNL, and R asked me what I thought of the tax cut legislation and I had to reply, "Oh, what happened with that?"  I'm learning all about child development and infant sleep habits but no one (other than other moms) really wants to have in-depth conversations about that (and other moms are probably as sick of it as I am - there's really only so much you can know about sleep cycles).  I'd like to make an effort to read more, especially to keep up with the outside world, but it's hard to find the time.

And I'm struggling with being on-the-job round-the-clock.  Actually, I'm okay with that part; it's more that I'm having trouble watching R come home from work and relax in the evenings and on the weekends.  He's off the clock.  And yes, I hand him the baby, but he holds her in his lap while he plays computer games... while I'm handing her off so I can fold laundry or do dishes.  Since I don't have a paying job, I feel like my contribution to the household is to keep it running smoothly - dinner, laundry, keep baby alive, etc., but it's just never ending.  I know this is the plight of all SAHM's, but I'm still struggling with it.  I would like two hours to just get all my crap done and then another hour to take a bath and a nap.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Finally Freaking Friday!

As in my former life, I live for the weekends, but now because it means R will be home and we can do stuff as a family.  This week has felt like one long-ass wait for the weekend, but it's almost here!

Lia's been a pain in the butt today.  She was a champ at the mall this morning (finishing up last-minute Christmas errands) and she was all smiles for me several times today during diaper changes, but she is just refusing to nap today.  I know she's tired, but she'd rather nurse just a little, get her diaper changed, then doze off, then wake up and start the process over again.  I don't know how she does it but it feels like she can sense when I step out of her nursery and it forces her wide awake again.  Oh well, it's so totally normal that I feel like I shouldn't be bitching.

Speaking of not bitching, her nighttime sleep is rocking.  We're getting a solid 7 and 1/2 hour stretch at night on a somewhat reliable basis now.  It's nothing we're doing, it's all Lia, but I'll take it.  Somehow I haven't managed to sleep a solid 7.5 hour stretch myself yet but I'm hoping it'll come for me soon.  :)

On an adult note, tonight is Date Night!  I wasn't sure we were going to get one this weekend but today R's parents offered to watch the baby for a few hours tonight.  We've got just enough time to have a leisurely dinner, and I'm psyched.  Now I need to go find things to talk about that aren't baby-related.  (Seriously - how can I stay a somewhat interesting person when all I do all day is nurse, change diapers, and do dishes and laundry?)

And this weekend I think R and I are buying new phones.  I've had the iPhone for several years and I'm trying to figure out what to go with this time.  I object in principle to Apple's censorship of the apps and it's store, but is that really enough to take a chance with a new phone and OS?  I'm researching now and torn...

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Four small victories today:

1.  Lia definitely smiled at me this morning!  It's the most beautiful thing in the world.

2.  I bought my dad's Christmas present.  He's so hard to shop for but I finally got an idea, and thanks to the wonders of the internet, it should be on my doorstep in a few days!  And with that, I'm pretty sure my Christmas shopping is done.  :)  Now I need to wrap, and confirm with R that we're not getting each other anything this year (otherwise I'm in trouble!).

3.  Found a place that will board White Bunny while we're out of town.  I can't believe we'll be paying as much as we will just to make sure the rabbit doesn't fall over and die, but it is what it is.  Luckily this place is nearby and has room for him over the holidays.

4.  Aaand, I got out for an unexpected girls' event!  I'm usually terrible at being spontaneous, nor am I the most social of creatures, but I got a last-minute invite to a make-up party at the mall down the street this evening and I took it.  It was so nice to get out and talk to adults other than Robert.  (He's great but I feel like my social circle has shrunk to miniscule proportions in the last few weeks and that I'm totally losing touch with the outside world.)  And I love my daughter but it was great to take an hour off from her.  I used a purse instead of a giant diaper bag!  It made me really miss getting dressed up, working, socializing, and pretty much everything that goes with being an independent adult, but I'm still so glad I got a little taste of it again.  Thanks Stephanie!  :)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dusting this thing off

So it's been awhile... I've been busy with life.  I've been spending less and less time online as my "real life" has become all-encompassing, but I view that as a good thing.

Lia is doing really well.  She's over 11 pounds now - quite the little sack of potatoes!  She's coming off the end of a growth spurt right now, so she's still a little cranky from that but evening out more and more each day.  She's seven weeks today and just starting to really give us some quality social time each day.  She coos at us and makes noises like she's trying to talk to us.  And she gives Robert big smiles in the evenings, although she's a very serious little baby for me during the day.  Not grumpy, just very serious.  And today I'm pretty sure she learned that she can move her head from side to side; it was pretty cool to watch her figure that out.

She loves baths... until we get to the end.

Big stretch!

Tired mommy.

Our other "child," Scrappy, has been a handful lately.  I finally insisted that she go to doggie day care today because she's just been way too energetic for me.  (If the weather were nicer, it'd be no problem, but long walks and single-digit temperatures just don't go together.)  It was great.  She's spent the whole night laying around, finally out of energy for once!  She's been loving the snow we've gotten though.  It's been endearing to watch her play around and pounce in the backyard.

On a more serious note, White Bunny is not doing well.  Well, he's sort of not doing well.  (Background - he's an extremely old (11 years? 12 years?) rabbit that we somehow inherited from my sister.  He lives in the basement and is cute but antisocial - he just hops around in his pen and eats his hay and has a pretty boring but cushy bunny-life.)  We keep finding him on his side, laying down unable to get back up.  We flip him back up and he's fine, but he can't seem to right himself on his own.  He's eating and otherwise seems pretty okay for being ancient, but this doesn't seem sustainable.  Especially since we'll be out of town for several days over the holidays - what if he falls over that first day?  He'll die of dehydration before we're back in town.  We keep thinking he's dying and this is his last night alive, and he's always alive in the morning.  Not that I want him to die, but I don't know if he's suffering.  And I certainly don't want him to suffer for several days then die when no one's around.  *sigh*

Well, that's a brief update on the dependents in our family.  I'm hoping to get back online and update on R and I sometime very soon.  :)

Friday, December 3, 2010

She's a real person!

It's like Lia suddenly became a real person overnight!  She went from this unresponsive, hungry little tyrant to a tiny little person.  Yesterday she just did not want to be put in the sling, which is unusual because it usually settles her down.  I finally got her quiet by holding her so she was facing out - she just wanted to look around.  Then we laid down on the bed and she stared at the fan for awhile (her favorite) and then she just stared at me and the stuff around her and wiggled her arms and legs all around.  It was like I could see her soaking up her environment and starting to discover that her hands are hers.  

Today was even better.  She had a long period of that with me, twenty minutes or so, and then another one with Robert.  I got out her activity mat - courtesy of her great-grandparents - and Robert tried that out with her.  It's amazing, she was fascinated by it.  She's never been that interested in anything so far!

Her sleep is getting better.  She isn't really sleeping long stretches at night, but she's going down pretty reliably in the late evening and typically sleeping for three four-hour stretches in a row.  It's still rough on me because I'm usually up for two hours in the middle of the night, between feeding, diaper changes, and pumping.  I also eliminated all caffeine a few days ago, afraid that it was keeping her up, so I'm exhausted.  Thankfully it's Friday and R is around to help out this weekend!

She's also been sleeping in her crib.  She's totally cool with it, I'm the one with the problem!  I'm still a little freaked out to have her so far away (relatively) but I'm getting better.  As much as I love having her sleep in our bed with us, if she's okay with sleeping in her crib, it seems to be the better long-term plan.  We can always move her back to our bed later if we want but it'd be much harder to try to move her to a crib in a few months.

In other news - Robert finished his MBA this week!  He graduates next Friday, but his classes are over.  I'm really proud of him.  It was a lot of extra work for a degree that's surely going to be helpful, but not necessarily translate to a new job or higher salary right away.  So he didn't have to go back to school, but he did.  I'm so impressed that he tackled it like he did.  He really kicked some ass in his classes, particularly since he was working full-time.  :)  Lia's got a lot to look up to!  Congrats, Bobby!