The announcement everyone already knows about

I assume that pretty much everyone who reads this blog is either a facebook friend or knows me in real life. So, everyone already knows this but I'm still feeling a need to make it "official" on my blog.

We are expecting our second little nugget in late April of next year. :)

I am 18 weeks pregnant and while this time around has been fairly similar to my first pregnancy, physically, it's been quite different for me mentally and emotionally.

I am much more acutely aware of all the positive and negative emotions (particularly negative) that someone else's pregnancy can evoke in people around me. I speak specifically to those with losses or trouble conceiving. Before Julia, I was happy with our lives, thought getting pregnant was just the next step for R and I, and never really comprehended the emotional enormity that a baby-sized hole can be in a life or a marriage. I still don't, having been fortunate enough to have never experienced this, but I certainly now understand the emotional heft of a child. It's not a next step or a new job or a new house or a pet. Obviously. Of course. But I know this now like I didn't before.

And consequently, I was very public with our news about Julia. I couldn't wait until week twelve to tell the world. I was browsing maternity clothing and baby clothing and strollers and bedding WAY before remotely necessary. I kept a daily calendar by my bed and marked off every.single.day of that pregnancy before I went to sleep at night. I thought every little thing was new and magical and of course no one had ever experienced it before like I was. I put belly photos up on facebook and probably annoyed everyone around me with constant baby talk.

This time around, I've enjoyed keeping it quiet. I even waited a few days to tell Robert. We're thinking this is the last time I'll be pregnant, so I've really treasured the private knowing and the quiet moments when I think, "We're all here!" with my little family. I'm a little disappointed that I've started to show (although it's nice to get out of the "Is she fat or is she pregnant?" phase) because I like not sharing the news with every stranger I meet on the street.

I also spent the first couple weeks freaking out about having two children eighteen months apart. I know people have siblings close in age, and our plan all along was to have our children close together, but... that was quick. Quicker than I expected. A blessing, of course, but... am I going to be able to handle that? I've hit my stride with Julia, but adding an infant to the mix feels overwhelming already.

So, anyways, all that adds up to this pregnancy being almost halfway through before I felt comfortable blogging about it. We do know it's a little girl, and we're excited about the prospect of sisters. I feel good and so far it's shaping up to be another easy pregnancy (knock on wood). I actually have a lot to say about it, now that the floodgates are open, but... a little at a time. I have time. Twenty-two more weeks. :)