Still salty

She looks like a cheery little angel, doesn't she?

Well Julia's still pretty salty. A little less so than yesterday, but since she has a whole constellation of subtle symptoms - none of which would worry me in isolation - I took her to the doctor's today. Of course they said she's fine, but at least someone else looked at her, checked her out, and pronounced her okay. I'm reverting back to a bland diet just in case it was something I was eating that was bothering her. (That means no caffeine for me either - boooo.)

And I'm just trying to be patient, but she's wearing on me. I'm so thankful she wasn't a colicky baby, because I'm having trouble keeping my composure as it is, and I know she's not really that bad compared to many. Today I yelled back at her when she was yelling at me during a few diaper changes (the good news is, it startled her and then she calmed down and we yelled back and forth at each other for awhile which seemed to put her in a better mood). And I did the thing where the baby is moaning and crying in the backseat and I just turned up the volume on the radio until I couldn't hear her any more.

And right now she's sleeping since she wiped out on the way home from our afternoon Starbucks run. Unfortunately, she's sleeping in a giantly dirty diaper that I thought I would just change as soon as we got home, but I'm not going to wake her up to do that. I'm just picturing the bacteria eating away at her bum and it's killing me.

Definitely not feeling like I'm doing a good job keeping things together right now.

(I don't need reassurances or anything. I know I'm doing the best job I can and I know it's all fine and she's fine and it'll all be fine. I'm just complaining. Bitch moan bitch moan.)