4 am musings

I guess my body's getting ready for all the future nighttime feedings, because I've gone from a "hit the pillow at 11 and out like a rock til the alarm goes off" person to a serial nighttime napper. 

After talking to Robert and my sister (an ob/gyn nurse practitioner) yesterday, it became pretty clear that inducing is the right choice for me right now.  I already regret not being able to experience labor naturally, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll happen by itself some time today, but if not (and still no signs that it might), I'll be giving L&D a call at midnight tonight and hopefully going in shortly after to begin the process.  Robert pointed out that I'm miserable, and that my dad's schedule necessitates that she get here fairly soon or else he won't get a chance to see her for several more weeks.  My sister essentially said it's ridiculous for me to wait out of some sense of guilt ("You're being very Catholic, Jessica" - lol!) when the baby is past her due date - that she's done and ready and whether she gets here because I go naturally or because I get induced doesn't matter in the least. 

So, today is my last day pregnant (for awhile at least!) and my last chance to get stuff done before she arrives.  I think it's the first time all pregnancy that I've felt sentimental about being pregnant and carrying this child inside of me.  I'm going to miss the combination of the relative freedom and independence I have now and the feeling of having our baby constantly connected to me in the most intimate way possible.  I'm usually pretty bad with change (see: selling car) so I'm not surprised I feel this way, suddenly, just now that it's almost over, but I am surprised at how I'm way more excited about having the baby than I am regretful that it's almost over. 

I'll be running around today getting a few last-minute things done but since we've been anticipating her arrival for awhile now, we're in pretty good shape.  (I even spent several hours cleaning the basement yesterday (wtf?), which I'm super-proud about because it no longer looks like we belong on Hoarders.)  So, today holds just a few errands, maybe a mani/pedi, some final housecleaning, and some quality time with the dog and hubby.  I'm kind of excited.